Build your potential client contact list

Hi Dave – Speaking and comedy both sound like serious business. I’m dead serious about the value of comedy in business — way more serious than folks who don’t know how to laugh. How do I get those humorless folks to seriously see how silly it is to filter out fun from the expressions of ideas? How do I make it pay for me to show them how to make it pay for them? – R.W.

No grumpy people!

Hey R.W. – Here’s something I’ve noticed about the humorous speaking biz. It seems the people who need us the most – and you know the ones I’m talking about, the humorless people – are the last ones to search us out. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say the event planners that schedule humorous speakers already understand the value of humor in the business world. And like us, they’re just trying to convince the other people who need it most to use it.

Anyone who knows anything about the value of humor in business and everyday life already know the positives. I won’t get into a long list, but here are a few of my favorites:

  • Less stress
  • Better teamwork
  • Increased productivity and attendance
  • Improved networking

These are topics a lot of serious business speakers and trainers already talk about because their audiences deal with these on a daily basis. It sounds like you’re doing the same with humor as a solution. The way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re going to work or cleaning your house. You’re more inclined to actually do it if you can include an element of fun.

Okay, all that is just to show I agree with your point – and I’m sure many readers of this newsletter do also (the humorless people don’t subscribe). It is, as you so eloquently put it, silly to filter out fun from the expression of ideas. But as I see it, here’s your main question:

How do I make it pay for me to show them how to make it pay for them?

Your goal is to get this message to the humorless folks and get paid for it. But keep in mind they aren’t going to hire you to speak anymore than they would subscribe to this newsletter. They don’t understand the value of your message. That means you need to…

Network with event planners (people who can hire you) that already agree with your message.

The best way to do this is to show them what you can do. In other words – get out and speak. And the best places to do this are where both humorous and humorless business folks network – meetings.

I’ve talked about this in past FAQs and Answers and even shared some excellent suggestions from readers on where to showcase your program.

But for a simple instruction guide…

If you don’t have it already, create a short (20 minutes is probably max) presentation about your topic and volunteer (for free) to speak at various organizations in your area. This could include Rotary Clubs, associations, charities, alumni groups, or whatever else you find. If you’re having trouble putting together a working presentation, check out my book Comedy Workshop: Creating & Writing Comedy Material for Comedians & Humorous Speakers at Amazon.com.

Free gigs for humorous speakers are like comedy club showcases for comedians. You don’t get paid, but you get in front of people who can hire (and pay) you in the future. But that’s only the start. As I’ve also mentioned in previous FAQs And Answers you need to build a list of potential clients (buyers) through these free gigs and stay in touch with them.

It’s called networking.

Of course you should always take a stack of business cards to hand out after your presentation. This is a no-brainer and business common sense. Include your contact information and website and give a card to anyone who even looks at you sideways. Make it easy for them to find you.

Except that’s never a guarantee they’ll contact you. It’s important to give them a reason for you to stay in touch on a regular basis, otherwise you’ll just be another pain in the you-know-what.

Start a blog or send out a weekly or monthly newsletter, (hey wait a minute – that’s how I got you to read this!). Make it informative and entertaining as an incentive for potential clients to at least check it out. Hopefully they’ll subscribe and you’ll become almost like an email family member (like we are right now – correct?).

Again, this makes it easy to find you in case they eventually want to hire you.

But simply handing out business cards can take a long time to build a decent list. You know what I mean – you hand out a bazillion cards and be lucky to hear from one or two people.

So here’s how to kick-start your contact list:

A great way to building potential clients and continue adding to your contact list is to have a prize drawing whenever you do one of these free programs. It’s up to you what the prize will be. It could be almost anything from a CD or printed transcript of your presentation to a plate of cookies. You could even offer a free or discounted presentation for their company. Use your imagination for this one and offer something you think most of your audience would want.

Here’s a personal example…

At the end of my programs, I announce a drawing to win a free autographed copy of one of my books. It doesn’t matter which book because even if the winner is not into the topic they’ll know someone who is and can give it as a gift. But to be in the drawing, they have to put a business card with an email address into a basket. The trade-off is that everyone who enters will be added to the mailing list to receive my corporate (not this one!) newsletter.

BUT – and this is an important but – I make it clear they can easily unsubscribe through a link in the email. They just need to receive it once. If they like it, they’ll continue to receive it. If not just opt-out and they’ll never hear from me again. And that’s the honest truth.

Everyone who wants to enter puts a business card in the basket. I draw one and that person leaves with a book. I leave the free gig with a basket full of contacts that could possibly turn into paying clients.

So there you go. How do you reach the people who need your message? Get out and preach the gospel – your ideas – in front of people who already get it. Go to where business people and event planners can see and hear you. Use these free gigs to build your contact list.

There are no guarantees they’ll hire you, but at least you’re giving them – and yourself – a chance. You gotta show them what you can do and stay in touch.

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Comment? Please use the form below. In the meantime, thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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Dave Schwensen is a nationally recognized comedy coach and author of six books including How To Be A Working Comic. He has designed and instructs university courses in communications and presentation skills. Dave is a keynote speaker and training seminar leader (for your next event!) and CILC Pinnacle Award Winner for video conferences on communication skills, comedy and pop culture.

For Dave’s author page on Amazon.com CLICK HERE.

For information about scheduling Dave’s training seminar or interactive keynote for your next event, or for any comments please use the contact form below or send an email to dave@davepresents.com

Copyright 2017 – North Shore Publishing

Anger Management

Was It Something I Said?

If I made a list of embarrassing experiences in my life, this wouldn’t even be considered. But I’ll share because it points out the importance of knowing your listener (comedians call it knowing your audience). It was a situation when humor didn’t work in my favor.

We were in the Las Vegas Airport catching a flight to St. Louis. I was traveling with my flight attendant wife Debbie, who can breeze through security while I wait in line with other VIP wannabe’s.

As a seasoned traveler I’ve learned to shove everything into a carry-on suitcase that will be shoved through the security checkpoint on a conveyor belt. I once considered wearing flip-flops to make taking off my shoes an easier process, but Debbie dashed that idea with sarcastic flight attendant advice:

Would you want to run out of a burning wreckage in flip-flops?” My non-sarcastic answer is to always travel in running shoes.

FabioI placed my suitcase and shoes on the conveyor belt and followed the guy in front of me to go through the body scanner. He was a few inches over six feet, had longish hair and looked like he worked out. For our purposes we’ll call him Fabio.

There were two conveyor belts through security, but only one body scanner in the middle. The line was a “Y” shape with passengers coming from both directions. At least I thought that was the case. I’m assuming Fabio did also because after shoving his suitcase onto the conveyor belt he simply stepped into the line. The guy behind him moved forward and I took my place behind him.

This guy wasn’t as tall or well built as Fabio. For our purposes, let’s call him Homer Simpson. I think you’ll get the picture in your mind. I stood in line behind Homer.

Homer turned and asked if I’d also like to go in front of him. I thought that was a very nice gesture. It’s too bad I didn’t recognize the sarcasm in his voice.

No, that’s alright,” I replied. “I’ll just go behind you.” And then I smiled and attempted a joke about not being in a hurry. With hindsight, it didn’t have the friendly effect I thought it would.

If I had x-ray vision like airport security I might have seen steam building up in Homer’s brain and shooting out his ears. I watched him go through the scanner, took my turn, and then grabbed my suitcase and tied my running shoes.

Then I was confronted with what was actually going on in Homer’s steam-filled mind.

HomerI began walking to my gate and noticed Homer talking to a woman and young girl. I’ll assume they were his wife and daughter and for our purposes we’ll call them Marge and… well, I’ll skip The Simpson’s reference, but I’m sure you’ll get the picture. His face was red and looked angry as he pointed his finger toward me.

Suddenly Marge RAN at me, started YELLING and ACCUSED me of cutting in line. I noticed Fabio was within shouting distance, but Marge said nothing to him. He continued walking and once again I followed, but at a faster pace since an angry looking Marge wasn’t on my itinerary of sights to see in Las Vegas.

At this point, Homer yelled something about me laughing at him and called me an “Arrogant ****!

I stopped. It was only for very brief moment, but long enough to say, “Don’t talk to me like that.”

Now, this may sound like a confrontation about to get out of control, but it wasn’t going to happen. Many years ago in New York City my karate instructor gave us the best advice for self-defense. The first step in avoiding a potentially bad situation is to walk away. Only react with our training when it was absolutely necessary. I continued walking from what was already a bad situation and toward my flight gate.

Homer 2But I was hit with a very uncomfortable realization. Maybe there was no “Y” for two lines at security. Perhaps Fabio had also innocently (or on purpose?) cut in and I blindly followed. If this was the case, it was an honest mistake. And if Homer had calmly said, “The line starts back there,” I would have followed the rules of civilized people and taken my place at the end.

Instead his sarcasm did not communicate that message. And my humor only poured fuel on a simmering fire.

A simple statement would have corrected my mistake. But what I found not so simple was how fast he reacted with intense anger. If this type of reaction is a normal occurrence in front of their young daughter, what is this teaching her about adult behavior?

And what if Homer had turned his anger at Fabio instead of me? My guess is that he might have walked away with a few bruises – both to his body and ego. That would’ve only made the situation worse.

Humor is an important conversational enhancement to build business and personal relationships. But as mentioned earlier, it’s important to know your audience and when to use it.

With this experience I did not know the situation or my audience. But displaying a sense of humor or a smile would normally be received as a positive gesture. And even if there is disagreement, it should inspire a non-confrontational response. It was too bad Homer didn’t read it that way because the problem would’ve been simple to correct.

When I told Debbie what happened we both knew how to “fix” the situation. We had lunch and a few laughs, which was a lot less stressful and more fun than steaming over a miscommunication meltdown. Next time I’ll pay more attention to airport security lines, while also practicing Anger Management by keeping a sense of humor in case a Fabio wannabe or anyone else cuts ahead.

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Comment? Please use the form below. In the meantime, thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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Click on the banner to sign up for Dave’s free newsletter!

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Dave Schwensen is a nationally recognized comedy coach and author of six books including How To Be A Working Comic. He has designed and instructs university courses in communications and presentation skills. Dave is a keynote speaker and training seminar leader (for your next event!) and CILC Pinnacle Award Winner for video conferences on communication skills, comedy and pop culture.

For Dave’s author page on Amazon.com CLICK HERE.

For information about scheduling Dave’s training seminar or interactive keynote for your next event, or for any comments please use the contact form below or send an email to dave@davepresents.com

Copyright 2017 – North Shore Publishing

Top 10 Networking Jokes For 2015

Another year with more laughs? Sounds good to me. But before we move ahead, let’s take a look back at what made us laugh in 2015. And in case you haven’t caught on yet, that’s a good excuse to list The Top 10 Networking Jokes For 2015.

Though I’ve been doing this newsletter for a lot longer, I didn’t come up with the brilliant idea of sharing your jokes with links to your websites, videos and other marketing sites until the last few months of 2010. Since then there have been 224 jokes shared in this newsletter. If we put them all together (35 pages!) it might make a good Comedy Central special or at least a decent open-mic set – ha!

So to ring out the old and ring in the new, here in no special order are 2015’s Top 10 Networking Jokes. We’ll pick up where we left off in 2016, so if you have a website, video, upcoming show, Facebook page, Twitter, LinkedIn or other site you’d like to promote to your fellow readers, send me an email. After all, it’s all about networking…

Thanks for reading and being an important part of this large circle of comedians, humorous speakers, talent reps and talent bookers. I hope you have a very productive and laugh-filled New Year!

Keep Laughing!

Dave Schwensen

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TOP 10 NETWORKING JOKES FOR 2015

1. Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!” The next day the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on… very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” The handsome guys says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.” – Brian Luoma

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2. Last night I decided to go out to just hang out and have a beer, then I fell asleep while planning what to wear. This morning I realized, my trash goes out more than I do. – Vernon Davis

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3. I was reading an article last week about Fathers and Daughters, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my Daughter out for her first drink. Off we went to our local Pub, which is only two blocks from the house. I got her a Guinness Stout. She didn’t like it – so I drank it. Then I got her an Old Style – she didn’t like it either, so I drank it. It was the same with the Coors and the Bud. By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . . I could hardly push the stroller back home. – Bob Stefani

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4. “It’s not that I’m fat. It’s just that I’m modest and don’t want my bones to show.” – Lynn B. Johnson

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5. A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. “I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”

“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, “Come on son, we’re gonna get a free haircut!” – No Name.

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6. “Things are so bad in the world, I just started my own Kickstarter campaign for world peace – and now I owe them money. 42,000,000 dollars and a Get Out Of The USA Free card… Oy!!!” – Dave Weiser

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7. “Middle life is not a crisis. It’s a waterslide to old age.” – Marilyn Mandel 

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8. “I went skydiving the other day. It was the most exciting thing I’d ever done and the scariest. Like marriage. Except skydiving has a higher success rate.” – Don Cooper

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9. The shark had punched a hole in the bottom of the boat and we started taking on water. With nothing to plug the hole the Captain said, just sit on it. I did but the leak got worst. Remembering JAWS, I yelled “We’re gonna need a bigger Butt!” – Bob Moher

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10. “A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle. He pulls out the cork, and a genie appears and tells him he has three wishes. “But,” the genie says, “I have to warn you, whatever you receive, your worst enemy will get twice as much as you.”

“Okay,” says the guy, “first, I want ten million dollars.” The genie grants the wish and reminds him that his worst enemy now has twenty million dollars.

“Next wish, I want a thirty-room mansion in the Bahamas.” The genie builds the mansion for him, and lets him know that his worst enemy now has a home twice as big.

“Fine. For the last wish,” the guy picks up a big stick and hands it to the genie, “beat me HALF to death.” – Debbie (my wife who thinks she’s funny telling old jokes..).

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Comment? That’s what the form below is for. In the meantime, thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

Musical Interlude: The Joker by The Steve Miller Band

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Click on the banner to sign up for Dave’s free newsletter!

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Dave Schwensen is a nationally recognized comedy coach and author of six books including How To Be A Working Comic. He has designed and instructs university courses in communications and presentation skills. Dave is a keynote speaker and break-out session leader (for your next event!) and CILC Pinnacle Award Winner for video conferences on comedy, communication skills and pop culture.

For Dave’s author page on Amazon.com CLICK HERE.

For information about scheduling Dave’s comedy workshop seminar or interactive keynote for your next event, or for any comments please use the contact form below.

Copyright 2016 – North Shore Publishing